Adding Insult to Injury...

Holy cow, has it already been two months? Man, I'm so bad with this consistency thing hahaha. Well, needless to say, school and work have started up again, and both are doing a good job of keeping my busy. I've got 15 units, which is the standard amount, but I am working quite a bit plus doing some ministry/club stuff on the side. Overall, it just adds up and take a good chunk out of the week...

Anyways, one of the ideas that was just sorta drifting around in my head was how to deal with an inconsistency of ethics. Uhm, that's not the best way to word it, but I'm having trouble of thinking of how else to say it, so let's go to a story example...

A few years back when I was talking with Dave (Dave's usually somehow involved in these stories haha), probably around my senior year, he was talking to me about how people change as time goes on. Yes, this does seem simple and kind of a dumb statement to make, but even though we have the head knowledge for it it's just weird to actually see things change over time. His main point did pertain to people, though. People are highly variable, especially as time progresses. It's easy to see one person who you originally thought was so strong, whether mentally, physically, spiritually, etc. start to feel the withering effects of time come upon them. Case and point, my brother's friend...

I don't know her name, and even if I did it sorta would be a violation of confidentiality, so yeah, no names... But, this friend of Dave's was a high school friend, which means Valley Christian High School. My writing is primarily geared towards that went to Valley, but just in case if you didn't, Valley had a huge emphasis on living a Christian life/ideal, hence the name. Unfortunately, when something like this is forced, you can run into some problems... Two of the most obvious are that people rebel like crazy and go completely against the rules and institutions that are set up. I don't really think this was a problem for the years that I was here, so we'll just sorta ignore that thought. But, the problem that was most noticeable to me was that a double life starts to become the norm. People are able to put on their Christian face when teachers and other classmates are around, yet do what they want once they are alone/with other friends. Once people hit college, they realize that this facade is no longer needed and they don't need to keep it up anymore. Of course, please don't think I'm saying that this happens to everybody, everybody does this, or this will happen. It's just a few of the possible situations that may arise due to the setting of a Christian campus...

Anyways, one of the things that is also sought out and very negatively looked upon at a Christian campus is hypocrisy. Well, it's not only true for a Christian campus, but I always felt that it was more prevalent in that setting. Well, as mentioned, Dave happened to run into an old friend that was from Valley. At the time that he had met her, it was around her second year of college, maybe slightly earlier or something (my memory is failing, sorry). They were catching up, and Dave recalled to me how this girl was always one of the most charismatic Christians on campus. They would always be the one to lead rallies, participate in Christian stuff on campus, and anything else that you can think of a stereotypical Christian school. Well, as they were catching up about life, one of the things that the girl happened to mention is that she was a single mother now and raising a kid. To most of those that know Christian doctrine, this is when red flags would be going off. Valley had a heavy emphasis on no premarital sex (even though I doubt everyone followed...) and also against being a single mother. In an ideal world, a girl and boy were supposed to wait till marriage until they procreate. Yet, as most of you know, that doesn't typically happen... haha

Well, Dave let her keep her privacy to herself so he doesn't know how it happened (well he did, but you know what I mean), but he just talked to her about what the life of a single mother is like, and how other things were going for. Dave told me that it was kinda strange to think that one person that had appeared so adamant for their faith had done something that was contradictory.

At this point, Dave noted that one of the first things that come to his mind was a note of her hypocrisy. It should seem so natural to point out that one of the strongest, or apparently strongest, did something she herself advised against. It would just be so easy to disdain her for her actions, label her as a hypocrite, and simply leave her at that.

But, Dave isn't one to do typical things of course... He said something that kinda struck me. Dave said something to the degree of, "You know, she probably had already gotten enough flak from her friends or family... She did something that most people wouldn't have guessed that would happen to her. Yet, can you imagine how hard her life must have become after it did happen? Not only did she have to raise a child by herself, but she was probably being criticized from friends and family, but hopefully not all of them. At that point, haven't they suffered enough and learned from their actions? The most that you can probably do to help them is just listen and hear them out, since that's something they probably don't get too much..."

Of course, Dave's words are kinda ringing and contrary to what we may instinctively feel. Why do we feel that way? Well, I sorta think that goes back to the idea of belief in a just world. I did write on this before, I believe, but for those of you that don't remember/didn't read so, but essentially this idea states that good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. This second part is what most people use to justify why they don't help those that are in need (such as homeless) or why they can disregard those who do things that are viewed by others as wrong. In this case, people may naturally feel as disregarding this girl and saying that she brought it upon herself so we can easily disregard her and her situation. Ironically, though, she's one of the ones that may need more of our help than others, not our disdain. And isn't that part of what we are called to do? Show love to others that are in need, and not just to those who we are comfortable around? Even if you think you may not be able to do something to show your love for another in need, listening is a big thing to help them out. I know I say this a lot, but really, just having someone to talk to can really help build bonds and help others figure out what they need to do. I know this is a tough message and a lot easier said than done because it's something I also struggle with, but just being aware of it helps us to make one step closer to being able to help out others that are in need...