To Walk a Mile in Another Person's Shoes

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce..."
― Thich Nhat Hanh

Hey all!  Long time, no write.  I know the majority of people are studying for finals right now, so good luck to everyone!

Anyways, I was going over some Social Psych stuff with peeps yesterday, and one of the things that really stuck out to me was this thing called the Fundamental Attribution Error.   The best way to understand it is through examples...

Think of a golf ball.  What causes a golf ball to roll?  The most obvious feature is that the ball is round.  While this is true, if the golf ball is on a flat surface, it wouldn't roll.  You also need some kind of push or force to get the ball to roll.  Thus, it's both the force and the shape that get the ball rolling.

The basis of the Fundamental Attribution Error is that humans are like golf balls: they both have some kind of disposition and are acted on by external forces that lead to the results.  In other words, it is not only the disposition of the person, but the situation that they are in that leads to the resulting behavior.  Let's say that you are walking by and you see a man named Chris kick a dog.  It would be natural to assume that Chris is just a mean person.  Yet, if you knew the situation he was in, such as the dog was biting him, then you might think it's reasonable Chris acted the way he did.

Essentially, the Fundamental Attribution Error states that outside observers tend to disregard the situation one is in, thus incorrectly leading the observer to assume that a person's behavior is a direct result of the disposition.  Using the example before, it means we would assume Chris is just a jerkface rather than understanding the circumstances behind the actions (in this case, the dog biting him).

This also goes back to the "Elevators, Etiquette, and Empathy" post I wrote before...  If you see what appears to be a healthy person getting on the elevator to travel only one floor, it's natural to assume that the person is lazy.  To fit it to the model, we would think there are no mitigating circumstances (or situation), and thus the behavior (riding the elevator for one floor) directly reflects their disposition (we think they're lazy).  But, now imagine that the person has knee troubles, resulting in extreme pain to climb up any flight of stairs.  Now, the resulting behavior (taking the elevator one floor) wouldn't really say anything about their disposition, for we know that the situation they're in (extreme knee pain) is probably the reason why they're taking the elevator.

Even though conceptually it may make sense, and thus be easy to avoid, it's amazing how often we commit the Fundamental Attribution Error...  Like the quote from Thich Nhat Hanh above, whenever we have trouble with anyone, not just friends or family, we naturally assume that there's something wrong or rude about that person.

Why is to so unnatural for us to look at what's going on in a person's life rather than just labeling them?  Well, simply because it takes effort to do so...  You see, the paradox is that humans like to know everything, but we're also cognitive misers.  In other words, we like to think we have answers to everything, but we'd rather not expend energy to truly find out if what we know is correct.  It's much easier to see someone and label them rather than think about why they do what they do.  And yet, we still like to think that we are right.  I mean, who likes to admit that they're wrong or that they don't know?  It's just something so foreign and unnatural to us...

Anyways, the big idea of this post is that it's Finals week, so we know that every student is most likely going through major stress right now.  For weeks like this, we all have an idea of the situation others are experiencing.  But how about every other week?  How often do we understand another's behavior as being a result of homework, midterms, or even familial problems?  The thing is, we all know these things are happening.  Yet, we tend only to see it as why we ourselves may act rude or apathetic some days.  For everyone else, we may naturally assume that being rude is just how they are.  Of course, this is less true for friends than people we may just meet or greet, but it can still apply.

Regardless, sometimes it's not best to trust the automatic reasons or assumptions we have of others.  Like Atticus said, sometimes it helps to walk a mile in another person's shoes in order to understand where they're coming from.  Even though it may sound dumb, please remember that others are stressed and have problems, also.  It's all too easy to acknowledge that someone exists but to forget that they're human, too, ya know?  And with that, I shall bid you adieu, and the best of luck with finals!